It’s something a lot of individuals cope with, but most don’t want to talk about – hearing loss and its effect on personal relationships. Both partners can feel frustrated by the misunderstandings that are created by hearing loss.
With Valentine’s Day right around the corner isn’t it the perfect opportunity to express your love and appreciation for your loved one? A wonderful way to do this is to have a discussion about your hearing loss.
Having “the talk”
A person with untreated hearing loss has a 2.4 times more likely chance of experiencing cognitive disorders including dementia and Alzheimer’s disease according to some studies. When the region of your brain used for hearing becomes less active, it can start a cascade effect that can affect your whole brain. Doctors refer to this as brain atrophy. It’s the “use it or lose it” idea in action.
Depression rates are almost half in individuals who have normal hearing compared to people who have hearing loss. Studies have shown that as a person’s hearing loss progresses, they often become anxious and agitated. The person may start to seclude themselves from family and friends. They are also likely to avoid involving themselves in the activities they once enjoyed as they fall deeper into a state of depression.
Relationships between family, friends, and others then become strained. It’s essential to be patient and work together to find solutions to communication problems.
Mystery solved
Somebody who is developing hearing loss may not be ready to discuss it. They might feel shame and fear. Denial may have set in. You might need to do a bit of detective work to figure out when it’s time to have the talk.
Because you can’t hear what your partner or parent hears, you’ll need to rely on external clues, like:
- Avoiding conversations
- Complaining about buzzing, humming, static, or other sounds that you can’t hear
- Avoiding busy places
- Cranking the volume way up on your TV
- Failing to hear alerts, doorbells, and other important sounds
- Frequent misunderstandings
- School, work, and hobbies are starting to become difficult
- Starting to notice anxiety and agitation in social situations
Plan to have a heart-to-heart discussion with your loved one if you detect any of these symptoms.
What is the best way to talk about hearing loss?
This discussion may not be an easy one to have. A spouse in denial might brush it off or become defensive. That’s why it’s important to discuss hearing loss in a sensitive and appropriate way. The steps will be basically the same but perhaps with some slight alterations based on your specific relationship situation.
- Step 1: Inform them how much you love them unconditionally and how much you appreciate your relationship.
- Step 2: You’re worried about their health. You’ve seen the research. You’re aware that neglected hearing loss can result in an increased risk of depression and dementia. You don’t want your loved one to experience that.
- Step 3: Your own safety and health are also a worry. An overly loud television could harm your hearing. In addition, studies show that increased noise can create anxiety, which might affect your relationship. Your loved one may not hear you calling for help if you have a fall or somebody’s broken into the house. People relate to others through emotion. If you can paint an emotional picture of the what-ifs, it’s more impactful than just listing facts.
- Step 4: Make an appointment to get a hearing test together. Do it immediately after making the decision. Don’t wait.
- Step 5: Be ready for objections. These could occur anywhere in the process. This is a person you know well. What kind of objections will they have? Money? Time? Perhaps they don’t detect that it’s an issue. Do they think they can utilize homemade methods? (You recognize “natural hearing loss cures” don’t actually work and could do more harm than good.)
Be prepared with your answers. Even a bit of rehearsal can’t hurt. These answers need to address your loved one’s concerns but they don’t have to match those listed above word-for-word
Relationship growth
Discussing hearing loss isn’t easy if your partner isn’t willing to talk about it. Openly talking about the effect of hearing loss on your relationship can help to solidify a plan to deal with any communication issues and ensure that both partners are heard and understood. By doing this, your relationship will grow stronger and your loved one will take steps to live a longer, healthier life. And relationships are, after all, about growing together.
References
https://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/statistics/quick-statistics-hearing#
https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/hearing-loss-common-problem-older-adults
